A year today just as I write this post I was induced and contractions started more or less straight away. Between now and 6.25 pm Gregory was born! I never imagined my delivery to be so quick…I had hyped myself to over 24 hrs of labour and since the doctors decided to induce me (they said the baby was too small at 2.5 kg and the placenta not working well!) I had also started trying to get to terms with the idea of having IV and not being able to have the natural birth I had hoped for.
However, my sweetest Greg you decided that since they wouldn’t let you in mummy’s tummy to simply get it over and done with and come into the world as quick as possible. As soon as you were out, I demanded to have you and tried to breastfeed you although I forgot completely what I should do. You were probably not the best looking baby with all that waxy stuff you were born with, however, your face was gorgeous and I simply couldn’t stop looking at you.
I didn’t feel exhausted, I simply felt at peace with you in my arms. I felt extraordinary that I had birthed you, that I had done well, that I refused all kinds of pain relief, that you were finally in my arms….It was the moment I felt most proud of myself and my achievements. You were so small and yet I could already see your potential in those curious, alert eyes. The names we had chosen for you flew out of the window the moment I laid my eyes on you…I simply knew they didn’t fit and after 24 hours or so of thinking and searching I found the perfect name Gregory – meaning watcher- because that is what you did from the moment you were born watched every single little thing that came in your line of vision. Till now you still do that, you are still discovering and enjoying every discovery and yet you have come so far now– you walk for one, you only nurse to sleep, you say a few words, you tell me with all your might what it is you want or need and don’t accept no for an answer……I feel the pain of seeing you grow knowing that too soon you will fly from your nest and yet I can’t help wonder at your perfectness, I can’t help feeling pride every time I see you smile, chuckle, laugh, walk, talk, eat and sleep peacefully in our bed cocooned between me and your dad- happy, knowing we are there to keep you safe and warm.
I love you!