At the moment here in Malta this is the main discussion everywhere as we prepare to go for a referendum to introduce or ban divorce forever in our country.
I am against divorce myself! However, it irkes me to see both the pro and against movements giving what I believe to be silly arguments about the issue.
So 2 things the pro movement says is that …
1. you are guaranteed maintanance money- how can they guarantee such a thing? its never possible! There are many complex things that make up this possibility and even if you take the person to court and they are given a prison sentence the point remains that you are not given the said money and you won’t! So telling people that this is a guarantee is immoral.
2. there is this billboard with a woman sporting a black eye (purpurting to abuse) and saying would you give your daughter another chance? truth be said everyone would! BUT if I am giving my daughter that privilege I am also giving it to the abuser unless they will be doing something in a way that whoever is thinking of remarrying with the said person knows he/she has a history of abuse. IF a person is abused I think the Church and state should simply nullify the marriage without hiccups.
The against movement on the other hand is saying that without divorce we have a more stable marriage. Hmmm I tend to differ. A stable marriage happens because the couple is willing to work VERY HARD at their relationship! Making the effort every day to meet and get to know their partner. That being said, there are still marriages that end up broken and not because they didn’t do so but because they reached a natural end- yes this can happen!
I still do not believe divorce is the solution. I think it should all stem from the very beginning….the way we are brought up! Values are mostly forgotten nowadays. Parents feel lost and incapable of caring for their children at times. Too much pressure and they give them whatever whenever just to please them and shake off their guilty feelings. So most of us are brought up wanting everything there and than without hassles and if there is we sulk and go away. Well a marriage can’t happen this way. You must work for it and at it from the moment you decide to take that particular step.
For divorce to enter and be allowed to enter, I believe there must be very strict and complicated rules for it. However since this is not quite possible as none want such a hassle, divorce should be banned.
As Christians we should follow our instinct. Jesus once said that divorce was given to humans by humans because of their stubbornness not because God accepts it. I think its true….we are stubborn all of us and that is why we want divorce- to feel more in control over issues we have no control on. Yet, no guarantees are given still and that leap of faith you do in marriage will have to happen every time you get married again….and would you do so ?