When Gregory was born and 2 years later Maya, I was so happy to stay home. To be for that point in time just a mother and wife. I was blessed to have been given such a privilege.
Four years down the line, I am ready to go back into the world. To mingle with people. To do stuff. I am increasingly aware of my struggle to keep it simple. It is why I now know I have been feeling the need to slow down. Because my capricious mind had been hopping with ideas and I have been accepting more ‘work’ than I can possibly handle with still a toddler at home. I was forgetting that my little girl is still very little and needs me. I was forgetting that while my little man started Kindergarten, he is still very young and needs me as well.
The woman in me is screaming to come forth. Show the world the transformations that happened to me in these four years. I sometimes get impatient waiting, biding my time, keeping the family as the top priority. I sometimes want roles I am holding outside the home to be more recognised and than I humbly thank God for reminding me that my principal role is still to be at home with the kids.
It’s a struggle at best and the need to slow down still comes plenty to my mind. To find calm in the chaos of my mind. To be still.
However, the waiting is also exciting. It gives new meaning to life. Because I know when my opportunity to fully emerge will come it will be a blowing experience.
And so I wait.
Take too many things out.
Slow down again.
I let the ups and downs to guide me. The tides to flow. I listen and sigh and wish and know that soon my time will come……