Maya’s 1st day of school

I am alone at home.

It’s quite a bereft feeling not having anyone to care for.  My heart, I can feel it hurting.

I am stunned and not yet comprehending.  Maya just said bye.  She had a twinkle in her eye.

After the last few weeks of gripping me fiercely, she just went without a second glance.  Fitting in with her class as if she’d been going since forever.

And I am here in the play room, full of toys strewn all over the place and not sure what to do and where to start.

I am amazed at her because after realising that school was really coming, she took these 3 weeks to come to terms with leaving me and while she hugged me fiercely this morning and told me so she feels better, I think she did more so I feel better.

I used to feel guilt knowing she is going to school and me feeling happy and I laugh at myself because now that it actually happened I am bereft.

A new chapter in our lives.  A string that started to unravel.  I wonder how school will shape her.

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