With M being now 6 years old, I am being faced with situations that sadden me deeply.

She should put on slacks underneath her dresses/skirts.  She should not be sitting open legged.

Sexism is rife!

I look at all this with anger and sadness and think that the men surrounding my daughter should be the one to start the changes.  That the women surrounding my daughter should be uplifting her.

I will not let my daughter grow up believing she is the one who causes sexual arousal.  I will not let my daughter grow needing to be careful how to dress.  I will not let my daughter grow thinking she needs to be sexy rather than smart to be liked.  I will upon my best possible ways not let my daughter be the victim of sexism.  I will teach her how to go beyond that and defend her rights.  Most importantly I will teach her brothers all this to.

A man looking at women, discussing her breasts and her ass and all her other assets or lack thereof as they deem fit is not acceptable.  A man making jokes about women is not fun, its diminishing our status.  A man who thinks my child or myself cause their sexual arousal is unfit to be a man.

A woman who does not stop men when discussing women and educating them on the why is not doing her duty. A woman who laughs with men at such jokes is not rising to the occasion.  A woman who finds fault in everything other women do is unfit to be a woman.

I never before thought much of these things.  I’d read articles or comments and wonder but never did I feel a direct relation to them.  In recent years my soul stirred me into many new thinking, into many new questioning.  Sometimes these hurt and it brought up past experiences.  Sometimes these stretched me beyond my imagination.  Sometimes I resisted these for as long as possible, but growth was inevitable.

My children, my greatest teachers, do not let me sit idle.  My complacent self of live and let live, of ignoring what I do not like in general, the not looking deeply at things was shook and rattled.

I still do not know how to present these things to my closest and dearest family members and friends. I am still struggling with me accepting this new reality I am facing and that I need to bring to light in a proper manner to my children.

And yet….it needs to be said……equality is not what people in general envisage.  Equality is in the way we view and respect each other and that is not yet available but it is definitely possible.  We need to look at our children and do what is right for them by being the right example to them.

That my 6 year old is already seen as sexual is disgusting, horrifying and distressing all at the same time.


Benjamin’s 1st Birthday

I still can not comprehend how a year passed.

My angel baby, the one that was born to help me past my fears and blockages.  The one born to remind me to slow down even more; to always smile; to look at the sun and the moon; to love deeply and forgive.

A fully fledged toddler already.

Your eyes that spoke to me from that very first night I met you.

Your smile which hardly ever leaves your face.

Your climbing EVERYWHERE!!  The screaming when you want to do something not in line with my views.

A year passed like a dream and now you are actually nearing 13 months of life already.

Thank you for choosing me as your mother.

and already 3.5 months passed

Time passes quickly doesn’t it?

3.5 months gone in a flash!  Benjamin talks to me with his eyes.  I wonder if he’s the only one who did that or if I was too busy to notice my older ones…..

His smiles fill me with warmth and remind me that all will be well.

He is an amazing child.  I still think I am imagining but he does sit balancing with hands as well for at least  a minute. and what about this? he is nearly standing on all fours and trying with all his might to crawl!