With M being now 6 years old, I am being faced with situations that sadden me deeply.
She should put on slacks underneath her dresses/skirts. She should not be sitting open legged.
Sexism is rife!
I look at all this with anger and sadness and think that the men surrounding my daughter should be the one to start the changes. That the women surrounding my daughter should be uplifting her.
I will not let my daughter grow up believing she is the one who causes sexual arousal. I will not let my daughter grow needing to be careful how to dress. I will not let my daughter grow thinking she needs to be sexy rather than smart to be liked. I will upon my best possible ways not let my daughter be the victim of sexism. I will teach her how to go beyond that and defend her rights. Most importantly I will teach her brothers all this to.
A man looking at women, discussing her breasts and her ass and all her other assets or lack thereof as they deem fit is not acceptable. A man making jokes about women is not fun, its diminishing our status. A man who thinks my child or myself cause their sexual arousal is unfit to be a man.
A woman who does not stop men when discussing women and educating them on the why is not doing her duty. A woman who laughs with men at such jokes is not rising to the occasion. A woman who finds fault in everything other women do is unfit to be a woman.
I never before thought much of these things. I’d read articles or comments and wonder but never did I feel a direct relation to them. In recent years my soul stirred me into many new thinking, into many new questioning. Sometimes these hurt and it brought up past experiences. Sometimes these stretched me beyond my imagination. Sometimes I resisted these for as long as possible, but growth was inevitable.
My children, my greatest teachers, do not let me sit idle. My complacent self of live and let live, of ignoring what I do not like in general, the not looking deeply at things was shook and rattled.
I still do not know how to present these things to my closest and dearest family members and friends. I am still struggling with me accepting this new reality I am facing and that I need to bring to light in a proper manner to my children.
And yet….it needs to be said……equality is not what people in general envisage. Equality is in the way we view and respect each other and that is not yet available but it is definitely possible. We need to look at our children and do what is right for them by being the right example to them.
That my 6 year old is already seen as sexual is disgusting, horrifying and distressing all at the same time.